So today I was thinking. . .I am so tired of repeating
myself! So I came up with this handy little guide for you to share with your Muggle* friends. If you have something to add, just leave a comment and I might be able to work it in at some point.Without further ado. . .
1. Astrology is a VAST topic
A Western astrologer getting to grips with the Vedas
It’s not all
Sun Sign columns you know!The history
of astrology itself is a massive topic. Then of course, there’s cultural
astrology (astrology from different cultural perspectives). There are also different
branches of astrology: Natal (the interpretation of the birth chart), Synastry
(the astrology of relationships), Electional (choosing a time to do something
like a wedding or book launch or store opening), Mundane (the astrology of
world events), Forecasting (predictions of all sorts), Horary (answering a
specific question using astrology). . .and these are topics just off the top of
2. Astrologers are nerds and are always learning
A bunch of nerds at an astrology conference in India
Refer to point
#1. If you ever meet an astrologer who claims to know everything about
astrology, run far, far away as fast as you can. As for the rest of us–yeah,
we huddle up and speak the language when we’re together because we are so
few and far between. This is why we hug each other so much. We also read a lot. The
majority of astrologers I know are total book hoarders.
3. Not all astrologers write a Sun Sign column
astrologers like Sun Sign astrology. They feel it is too general and they will
probably tell you they have better things to do with astrology. I used to hate Sun Sign astrology too and here’s my story. But if you came here looking for a Sun Sign column, here’s mine for June 2016 for the Cosmic Intelligence Agency.
4. Astrologers think sceptics are pretty funny
We know what
“Precession of the Equinox” means, we don’t think everyone fits into twelve
neat categories and pretty much all astrologers know Ophiuchus isn’t the 13th
sign (and we know better than to confuse signs and constellations). A lot of astrologers find it pretty funny that so many sceptics run their mouths about astrology but actually know NOTHING about it! What are they afraid of? Oh and for your enjoyment, here is a blog where I take down Matthew Syeed for piping up about astrology.
Oh and predictions. Everyone makes predictions. The weatherman makes predictions all the time and is paid very handsomely for his efforts–whether he’s right or wrong. But when an astrologer gets it wrong. . .
I teach children and for a long time was banned from telling anybody I was an astrologer because the school had a Christian ethos (if you want to read the whole story, here it is). But it was part of my job to make predictions. These predictions were basically made on the trajectory direction of a pupil’s progress over time. I’d like to say I got it right all the time but every now and again miracles and disasters happened. It’s a similar thing with astrology–you can’t always account for free will. And, um, I’m not responsible for every other astrologer’s bad call either.
5. All astrologers work in different ways
Think about how an artist might react if given a palette of colours and a blank canvas. Certain techniques might be shared between artists but style would vary widely. Again, refer
to point #1. I’ve never met an astrologer who works the way I do, agrees with
all my opinions or who likes all my stuff. If I ever met this fabled beast, I’d
have to slay them just because I’d think they were taking the piss. And in reference to point #4, there probably
are a few Astrologers who use Ophiuchus as a 13th sign (the rest of
us laugh at them behind their backs).
6. All astrologers can read an ephemeris
Yeah, we can
read this. Where does it come from? Some guy or gal with glasses, a lab coat and
a posh degree from Oxford or Harvard spent long hours and a lot of daddy’s money doing calculations so we
astrologers can use the information for nefarious purposes. And speaking of
nefarious purposes—despite what you may have learned in Sunday School, the
majority of astrologers aren’t practitioners of Satanism and
we don’t sacrifice virgins at the Vernal Equinoxes or partake in cannibalistic
practices. Unlike certain other religions. Ahem. Oh and a lot of us don’t make claims to be psychic or use Tarot cards, palmistry, crystal balls or the innards of birds or other methods for divinatory purposes. By the way, stop asking us if we “believe” in astrology: we don’t “believe” in it–we “practice” it. Lots and lots and lots. AND STOP HOLDING OUT YOUR HAND FOR A FREE PALM READING WHEN I TELL YOU I AM AN ASTROLOGER!! What is it with that? It makes me wonder what you’d do if I told you I was a proctologist. By the way, I am a palmist as well–it’s the cheek of expecting me to do it on my night off (for free) that annoys me.
7. There are such things as Astrology Conferences
Some of us love
them and some of us avoid them. But they exist all over the world. Just check out a group of western astrologers in saris and sherwanis at Krishnamurti Institute of Astrology conference in Kolkata India. In the past year, I’ve also been to the US, South Africa and Australia for astrology conferences. Yep, astrologers are everywhere!
8. Quite a few astrologers have a specialism
I’m a fairly
well rounded astrologer (in more ways than one, ahem) but my specialism is
Astrology and Education. I even wrote a book about it and as this is my blog,
here’s a link to said book. And some information on astrology and education workshops I hold.
9. All Astrologers have a story about how they
My big day was
when I realised there was more than just the Sun involved in astrology. Here’s a youtube clip of a recent interview where I talk about how I got into astrology. By the way, just because Chris Turner and I look like a Pepto Bismol explosion at a pharmaceutical factory does not mean all astrologers like the colour pink. And no, it’s not my favourite colour either (it’s green as you asked).
10. Most astrologers have a pretty good grip on
Well, I teach
Physics to teenagers so I know the difference between nuclear fusion and
nuclear fission and I could do a pretty good job explaining how a star is born
too. Kiss my ass Brian Cox and Dara O’Braian.
11. Not all Astrologers have chosen to formalise
their astrology training
Took me 18 years to get it.
classes are expensive, hard work and don’t guarantee you can make a living from
astrology. But I did choose to do formal astrological degrees (and whinged the whole way through the course). That’s my diploma from The Faculty of Astrological Studies to the left. The MA from Cultural Astronomy and Astrology from Bath Spa is my other degree. I’ve also studied Hellenistic Astrology with Dorian Greenbaum and electional and horary astrology with the School of Traditional Astrology and Deborah Houlding (who does Skyscript). By the way, very few astrologers make their living exclusively from astrology. Out of the hundreds of astrologers I know of, only a handful don’t have a day job to fund travel, courses and materials. Every now and again I add up all the time and money I’ve spent on astrology courses and I think I could have pursued a PhD in something useful but most days I’m happy with my decision to follow my heart.
12. Astrologers don’t go on holiday when Mercury is
OK, this is
one of my pet peeves. Mercury is retrograde around 2-3 months of the year. Good
luck not using public transport or the postal system for all that time.
13. Nothing can replace a real live consultation
with a trusted astrologer. Nothing.
Not all astrologers see clients but I do. If you’d like a consultation with me, you can contact me here or you can Skype me (AstroAlex1984). Just so you know.*Muggles” is my rather affectionate term for people who don’t know anything about astrology outside of Sun sign columns. I’ve written about how to go from being a Muggle to being an astrologer on another post.
**”Retrograde” motion is when a planet appears to be moving backwards against other bodies within its system. All the planets can be retrograde but Mercury seems to be the celestial whipping boy for lost post, computer malfunctions and train delays. I had a tirade about this too which you can read about here.